| Football is my first love. |
[15 Jun 2010|02:54am] |
Before I start this post I have to say there is nothing wrong. I swear I'm okay and thanks to those that were checking on me. I didn't know you all cared so much, haha. It's kinda funny seeing how I was just going down memory lane and the Aerosmilth song I happen to pick may have been on the gloomy side. I didn't think of it like that, Angel was a song that will always be close to my heart and make me smile when I think about a certain someone. Just a song that made me think of someone for the first in a long time. That's a story for another time though.
Now on to my real post.
The World Cup has started and I feel like I'm in my element again. I love football, real football with a passion. If I hadn't fucked up my life and my leg I could have been playing against England Saturday with the USA. Most people think it's a weak game with a ball just going back and forth on a field. It's high pace with no breaks and dribbling skills that you can't see anywhere else and it's not something everyone can do easily. It was soccer that saved me when I was 15. I was a bully with nothing better to do then cause trouble and somehow this epic game founds its way into my life and I fell in love with it.
I had a scholarship to UCLA and all I had to do was keep my grades up and keep my nose clean. I had fell back into my old ways, really worse when you think about the things I have done. I busted me knee and took drugs to cover the pain. Till the point I would take something stronger to get me through a game, as well something to help me keep up with the others. I know everything you do in the dark comes to light. You have to pay for breaking the rules and I did just that when I lost everything I ever dreamed of in one moment. My dream to be a US footballer was no more.
I have owned up to my mistakes by now and I learn to not dwell on the past. I was young and thought no one could touch me then. I was my biggest enemy back then. For those that already know me or read any of my other post know how I got here. How I became an actor was a lucky shot most don't get. I'm thankful everyday for my job and I love what I do. It even help me to to past my dream of being a footballer on to others. Once I was able to, I start a little ledge soccer team for kids that didn't have the means to follow their dreams. So I took the third chance in life I had to help others and hope they don't make the same mistakes I did as I pass on how easy it can be taken away.
Now that I'm in London filming and the World Cup is playing, I'm having a blast. I'm sure Ripley is tried of me talking about the games and my co-stars are pretty great about me dragging them to nearest pub to watch the games. Even though my hand is still healing, I feel better then ever when it come to my life now.
Seeing how I'm going to be 30 Sunday, I'm finally finding peace. It feels good.
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[15 May 2010|11:11am] |
( ONTD )
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| Up Coming Movie: 300 |
[28 Feb 2010|11:53am] |
I had so many things I wanted to say in this post. Things that were building up for the last few months that still boggle the mind. I was...is filled with anger, regret and guilt...mostly anger. But then I said fuck it and scarped it all. Instead I’m going to show you my new movie. It’s my first lead role and I never worker harder on a film and quite proud of it. There are so many things I can point out about this awesome movie but I'm going to be a total guy and say this move is not just eye candy for the ladies but there is a very much naked Ripley in this movie. Yet the best part about all this is I have one hot date to the premiere.
( You will be blown away! )
The first season of Dollhouse went really well if you don't count the time I fell and cracked a few ribs. Which are awesome and back to normal now. There have been a few rumors going around that I might not return for the second season. I can't confirm or deny at the moment for legal reasons, but I guess that just told you something right there. In the mean time I'm flying around doing interview after interview for 300 and then I'll be doing the same for Ghosts of Girlfriends Past that comes out in May. Then off to do a thrill/horror called The Strangers.Career wise I'm having a great year.
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| I still can't come up with the words... but this it what it felt like. |
[13 Jan 2010|02:20pm] |
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( Why?.... )
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| You gotta love me love me love me or leave me. |
[28 Dec 2009|11:03am] |
2009 for the win, can't wait to see what 2010 has in store for me. I'll tell you one thing though I am very blessed to have people who put up with me on a daily bases. I'm sitting here thinking what should my resolution be for the coming year. I can't really complain about anything I need to change. That is were the love me or leave me comes in. I'm sure others would like to say different but lets face it I was never really good at listening to other people. Maybe that should be my resolution, listen a little better to my friends and family. Beside it's your friends that want to see you happy right? So what harm can come from those that love you? UNLESS... they have their own agenda.
I have to admit I'm not the most trusting person in the world. I have a hand full of people in my life that I can trust. These people I have known for almost a decade or if not my whole damn life. That is a great deal of trust and patients with me. Most of them will tell you I do things my way and I'm pretty head strong. When you meet me you can believe my flaws will come out before you see the best in me. But like wine I get better with age. I use to be worse if you can believe that and as I come up on hitting 30 in two months it's something I'm looking forward to. It's a milestone in my life and I'm proud of what I have accomplished. Sure I'm not the pro world wild football (soccer) player I could have been. With a tricky knee I traded in my cleats for a script so it's not all bad. With everything that has happen to me in the last ten years it only has me guessing how good can it get.
After last night I think the next ten years are going to keep me guessing.
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[30 Nov 2009|06:31pm] |
I was up all night.
( QUESTIONS )
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| SPAM: MEL MADE MAKE ONE! |
[27 Nov 2009|08:20pm] |
Look I dance just for you.
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| The torch(er) has been passed to me. |
[24 Nov 2009|06:29pm] |
ASK ME QUESTIONS
It’s time for all the questions you have ever wanted to ask me. It’s now or never.
Questions are screened. Do your worse.
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| Soccer: |
[18 Nov 2009|08:49pm] |
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Damn it! USA lost!
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| everything's going to be okay trust me. |
[10 Nov 2009|12:22pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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feel like camping agian |
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music |
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Queen today, expect a lyric post later. |
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It has been a busy year with nothing but ups. When I was in military school I would have never imagine a life like this for me. In fact my head was in the clouds dreaming about being the next Beckham. You might set yourself on tracks thinking this is what you are going to do but sometime life has other plans for you. The unexpected can be a blessing in disguise and everyday I’m meeting people that open my eyes up even more to things I never saw myself doing.
Like cooking. We all know I’m a master griller. Men. Meat. Grill. King of the barbecue, but being a kitchen is a little different. Sure I can make toast and some hotdogs, and slip a frozen pizza in the oven. It’s concocting a whole meal that is frightening. The first and last time I tried to make dinner was when I was 16 and my parent weren’t able to make it home in time to have dinner. With two screaming little sister I had to make something. My version of spaghetti look like something from a syfy film that even an alien wouldn’t eat. Needles to say my sisters never screams for me to make them foods ever again. The idea of bananas and tomato sauce seem like a good idea at the time. So me cooking a stack of pancakes is an amazing accomplishment. Even if all I had to did was add water. Which by the way is genius and still taste like the real thing. I’m pretty proud of myself and maybe I’ll be bold enough to try something else someday. Don’t get me wrong I still love to have beautiful people cook for me. How can I pass up cupcakes and meatloaf.
The idea of all this is nice but some days I have very little time to think about what I’m going to cook. I don’t even know how to stock my kitchen properly for that. I’m back on a TV set making a new family and trying to make something great. So cooking is the last thing on my mind. Dollhouse is quickly becoming a phenomenon. I love it and love working with the people I’m with. Our Wednesday Cheers night is something I have grown use to or that could be many Sam Adams I have become accustom to. So now I’m shamelessly promoting what I have been working on in the last few months. My really unorganized schedule is only going to get busier since I have two new movies coming out in the following year and about to shoot two more in the off senses.
So while I’m still hanging out here in LA, don’t worry I still have my weekend barbecue when I’m not off doing other things. Like teaching little league soccer, drinking wine, eating brownies, trying to get my ring pop back, or watching a good game.
( Dollhouse )
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| Not a lot to say but so much I want to get out. |
[21 Oct 2009|01:49pm] |
I Ian Raves have a secret.
It’s something very shocking and even a little unbelievable. How can someone like me have a secret. Aren’t we all full of secrets? Absolutely wonderful secrets that can make or break us. Secrets that makes us just a little bit more interesting but if anyone knew how boring would we be? Yes I have a secret, a wonderful yet dreadful secret.
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[21 Sep 2009|10:16am] |
What a catch I am when I can’t give up my old habits. Meaning that my bachelor days are not that far behind me. Funny how things work out when someone is in the picture and once you set your mind on something. It seems like everything and everyone else want to get in the way. I never could figure out why it works out that way, but it never fells and what does it say about me if I’m still thinking about the what ifs. I love cake. Yeah what a catch I am when I’m thinking about everything else but the one thing I should be thinking about. Talking to St. John the other night really helped me to put some things into perspective. Now if I can only hold on to that and remember what I feel and what I really think about all this. I want to do the right thing and I never was the best person when it came to doing the right things, but that is how you grow or really grow up my sister would say. I still have no idea what I’m doing with my life sometimes.
I look back on it and all the fuck ups that I’ve had don’t seem that far behind me. Most people that know me don’t know much about me. I went to boot camp for a while and then military school after my parents couldn’t deal with me and well I was this close from ending up in jail for good. It turned me around but I’m not sure if it made me a better person. Soon I got a scholarship to UCLA for soccer and it was planed out for me to go pro. Still getting into a bit trouble I just got better at hiding my disasters. Yet karma got me and I busted my knee ruining any chance I had at being a professional footballer. I could play but I could never go pro with the knee I have. So since then everything else has just fallen into place. I might look like I know what I’m doing but at this point in my life I’m more lost than ever. I don’t want to be the bad guy; I don’t want to be the good guy. I just want to be me at the end of the day and really the people that stick around at the end with me after dealing with the real Ian I know are the people I want in my life for good.
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[14 Aug 2009|10:11pm] |
It's funny how things work out after you realize you want to be done with people and certain things about them. I can be a little hard when it comes to that I know. Patients is the key when it comes to me or well when it comes to me getting to know you. I thought I might step out the box again a try something new. Be a little more friendly with those that wanted my friendship. Yet it seems to bite me in the ass like always. So I don't see anything wrong with being a little aware with those you meet and take your time to get to know them. It helps filter out all the bull shit that people come to you with at first. Trying to be up front and honest when all along they have an agenda. Acting as if hey I'm pretty damn cool and kick ass to get to know because I'm not full of shit like every one else. When in fact you are the biggest hypocrite and that is all you were about in the first place. Me on the other I'm even worse for falling for the shit and taken the chance. I should have stayed in the box where it was nice and safe. Now I'm only pissed off at myself for beginning to care too much about this person. What a fucking waist of my time and everyday that goes by that seem to be obvious avoidance is only make me wonder what the hell I ever meant to this person in the first place. Was I ever a friend at least or just some lame attempted to get in my pants, which is nothing new. When I'm in the box I'm used to it though, I know what people want from me and that is nothing to complain about. If you want to use me that is okay, but don't lead me on for whatever plan you have. I can see right through you and hey if you can be up front with me I can with you. I'm use to people only seeing me in a physical way and nothing more. In fact it makes it easy to not get close to anyone. Thank god the shit hit the fan before I did get to close. That being side it wouldn't have been pretty. For those that have known me for a long time know how much of a real bastard I can be.
Though to my surprise there was a bit of a change to find out that there is a second chance to try this stepping out of the box thing. Not that I was looking for one but some how it all just seemed to work out. Where it will go I don't know, still there is no rush to find out. I have been so completely patient for this long I think I can hang on a little bit longer. Then there are my concern as my mind tries to find a reason as to why me. Can't help but have an odd feeling that maybe I'm being seen as something other then what I really am. That's not bad thing but am I being molded into this great person? Am I becoming a reflection of something else you see or wanted. Yet the reality of it all is well, still I'm am just me and that is pretty much all you get in the end. I don't consider myself a deep person or someone full of meaning. I'm a regular guy that get up and has his usual daily routine. I do what expected of me when it comes to work, so I keep in shape and do the usual habits that is requierd of an actor. When it comes to my personal life I'm pretty straight about what I want and if you can't handle that then I'm not a person that you need in your life. I'm a stress free individual that moves on fast or well just moves fast. Here I am with nothing to hide. I'm up front and out there, the sooner people realize that the better it will be for everyone. So I hope whatever people think they see in me and find out that it was not there in the first place realize I wasn't the one that put it there in the first place. I don't want people to have expectation of me. So I hear something a little unexpected I have to think if that truly is how you see me or just something you think you see in me because that is what you are looking for. I don't know in all maybe I'm the one thinking a little to much into this as each day that passes it keeps me wondering and maybe I need to stop and just go with the flow. I'm better at going with the flow.
Other then me rambling on like a lost cause and I'm sorry if any of that didn't makes sense, but at the same time I hope it didn't so it keeps you a little on the outside. So moving on with something a little more substantial and getting that mess out of the way and over with. I should let you know what is going on with me. The new series called Dollhouse that I'm doing seems like it's going to work out well. Hoping I don't get killed off like last time or getting canceled. I love doing movies however I like a steady job and paycheck. Plus some place close to LA is always nice. I have my little league team of football player,my street bikes and beach right there. It's all I need to get through a week. I tend to start missing my kids and running the street on my bike.
I also have something new in LA and that is Mel. Sorry Mel M.D. that is. I will have to move her closer to my place or just move in. The girl can make some mean waffles and you know what they say to get to a guys heart is through his stomach. With her cooking I think she has more then my heart. To bad she is gay now. No really though she is a great girl and how some one could give that up is beyond me. I try to make it up by getting up earl in the morning to get her some coffee and breakfast before the day at work. My way of saying thank you for hearing me out and being cool about it. Another girl I don't get why she's alone is Gillian. Talk about bright, sexy and for some crazy reason she wants to teach me how to dance. I like being a wall flower and I don't really want to learn, but she is a force to be reckon with. I can't keep fighting with her on this and it might come in handing someday. I can dance on screen but in real life it's just painful to watch. Somehow with movie wrapping up and me starting a new show I have to find time to get Tasha to go camping with me. For one I got this girl to make plans with me. At this point though I think I might have to kidnap her or she might have to kidnap me to get it done. Really I would love a group camping trip with all our friends.
Speaking of I think I owe someone a deep apology and that is Joanna. Some things were said and yet the only reason I'm even being sympathetic is for Natasha. She has true friends and really she is considered really close to me and I'm not the easiest person to deal with. How she does it I don't know. So to see someone have her back for any and all reason is okay in my book. I'm not the type to usually say my penitents out loud however I know when I'm an ass and I was being an ass and it will not be the last time. So hopefully we can put this behind us now for Tasha sanity. You don't have to like me but know that I'm genuine when I say forgive me. Sure it might be a little bit late but I do get around to it. I'm late with anything and everything in life. I was even born late and I'm sure the day I die the grim repaper will ask me what kept me.
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